I just had my 3rd treatment yesterday...........so that means, only 3 more left!! I'm half way there!!
Last night I was feeling pretty upset...my stomach was burning and I couldn't really eat anything....so I popped in an extra anti-nausea pill and that definitely helped! Now today, not so nauseous anymore, but pretty sleepy....not myself at all.
I'll go get my very expensive injection later this evening (to help keep my white blood cell count up), and then I'll jump straight back into bed :) Usually I just live in my pj's these first few days after my treatment.....its pretty sweet!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
I just wanted to wish everyone a very merry christmas (sorry a little belated) and all the best to you and yours for the new year!! Click on the link below for a little christmas dance from me:
Kristal's christmas dance (I believe its only available until Jan 15, so enjoy while you can!!)
I would also like to take the time to say thank you for a couple things:
- thank you to everyone who has been following my journey and have had me in their thoughts and prayers! The overwhelming support I have gotten really means alot to me, and I'm so thankful for such great friends and family!
- I'm thankful that my family is all able to spend christmas together. Even though I couldn't make it down to nice warm Trinidad as I would normally do, what makes christmas is really who you are with. My youngest brother lives up here and mummy is here taking care of me....then daddy and my other brother flew in on christmas eve. That night we had a nice dinner together, along with my boyfriend and one of my very close friends. Then christmas day we spent at mum's friend's house (a Trini household)....and in the night I went to my bf's family. So I had a really great day up here, with good company, and yummy yummy food!!
- I am thankful that it worked out that I was feeling well on christmas day, since my next chemo treatment is after xmas, on Wed. I have some friends who had their treatments the Wed before xmas, and I know they weren't feeling their best....I hope they're doing better now!
- I am thankful for being in Canada where there is so much support available, and free health care!! Woohoo!!
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I do have one more christmas wish.......a cancer free world would be nice!! Maybe that's asking for too much, but I'm hoping some little steps might help make a difference (even if its just a small difference). Since new years resolution time is approaching, maybe you can think of something you can do or change that could help reduce your chance of the 'C' word affecting your life, because if I had one wish, it would be that noone else is diagnosed with this 'disease'. Even if its something that might seem insignificant.....sometimes a little goes a long way. Here are some ideas:
- throw away all your plastic containers and replace with glass ones
- buy yourself some organic/natural products (soap, shampoo, makeup or creams for eg.)
- get a stainless steel water bottle instead of using plastic water bottles
- try to eat minimum 5-7 servings of fruit and veggies everyday....the more the better
- cut back on your sugar intake
- lower your alcohol consumption (1-2 drinks maximum in a day is a suggestion).
- exercise regularly
- learn to handle or reduce your stress (Stress can encourage growth of breast cancer)
They say there are so many things that could cause cancer, so I don't know if there is any sure way to ensure you never get it. But there is no harm in trying. Some of the things I have listed are very easy to do and many of you have probably already done alot of them....so koodos to you!!
Personally, I've been trying to do everything on that list above because I do not want to go through this again!!! It's hard to maintain for sure...a work in progress for me...but a little at a time I guess is better than nothing at all.
Feel free to update me on your steps to a more cancer free life.....I would love to hear what you're doing for you :)
Kristal's christmas dance (I believe its only available until Jan 15, so enjoy while you can!!)
I would also like to take the time to say thank you for a couple things:
- thank you to everyone who has been following my journey and have had me in their thoughts and prayers! The overwhelming support I have gotten really means alot to me, and I'm so thankful for such great friends and family!
- I'm thankful that my family is all able to spend christmas together. Even though I couldn't make it down to nice warm Trinidad as I would normally do, what makes christmas is really who you are with. My youngest brother lives up here and mummy is here taking care of me....then daddy and my other brother flew in on christmas eve. That night we had a nice dinner together, along with my boyfriend and one of my very close friends. Then christmas day we spent at mum's friend's house (a Trini household)....and in the night I went to my bf's family. So I had a really great day up here, with good company, and yummy yummy food!!
- I am thankful that it worked out that I was feeling well on christmas day, since my next chemo treatment is after xmas, on Wed. I have some friends who had their treatments the Wed before xmas, and I know they weren't feeling their best....I hope they're doing better now!
- I am thankful for being in Canada where there is so much support available, and free health care!! Woohoo!!
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I do have one more christmas wish.......a cancer free world would be nice!! Maybe that's asking for too much, but I'm hoping some little steps might help make a difference (even if its just a small difference). Since new years resolution time is approaching, maybe you can think of something you can do or change that could help reduce your chance of the 'C' word affecting your life, because if I had one wish, it would be that noone else is diagnosed with this 'disease'. Even if its something that might seem insignificant.....sometimes a little goes a long way. Here are some ideas:
- throw away all your plastic containers and replace with glass ones
- buy yourself some organic/natural products (soap, shampoo, makeup or creams for eg.)
- get a stainless steel water bottle instead of using plastic water bottles
- try to eat minimum 5-7 servings of fruit and veggies everyday....the more the better
- cut back on your sugar intake
- lower your alcohol consumption (1-2 drinks maximum in a day is a suggestion).
- exercise regularly
- learn to handle or reduce your stress (Stress can encourage growth of breast cancer)
They say there are so many things that could cause cancer, so I don't know if there is any sure way to ensure you never get it. But there is no harm in trying. Some of the things I have listed are very easy to do and many of you have probably already done alot of them....so koodos to you!!
Personally, I've been trying to do everything on that list above because I do not want to go through this again!!! It's hard to maintain for sure...a work in progress for me...but a little at a time I guess is better than nothing at all.
Feel free to update me on your steps to a more cancer free life.....I would love to hear what you're doing for you :)
Monday, December 20, 2010
My Chemo Schedule
For quick reference, here are the dates of my next Chemo treatments:
3rd treatment: December 29, 2010
4th treatment: January 19, 2011
5th treatment: February 9, 2011
6th treatment: March 2, 2011
THEN NO MORE TREATMENTS :) :) :)
At the hospital there is this bell that patients ring after they're done receiving their last treatment. Can't wait to ring that bell!!
3rd treatment: December 29, 2010
4th treatment: January 19, 2011
5th treatment: February 9, 2011
6th treatment: March 2, 2011
THEN NO MORE TREATMENTS :) :) :)
At the hospital there is this bell that patients ring after they're done receiving their last treatment. Can't wait to ring that bell!!
It's gone!!!
I am writing to let you know that the time has come...........all my hair is gone!!!
It didn't go out without a fight, I can tell you that! My hair lasted alot longer than I expected.....I guess cause I have/ had so much of it!! Once I noticed it starting to drop, I refused to wash my hair, and tried not to touch it. I wanted to keep my funky hair-do for as long as possible.
But finally, it just became too much. There was so much hair on my pillow one morning when I woke up, that I decided I just had to shave it all off that day. My brother and boyfriend had a little too much fun with this, and here are the pics of them making me look ridiculous!
I couldn't help but laugh at myself!
Then my fuzzy head started to look quite patchy (why doesn't the hair fall out evenly dammit!!). I looked like a Chia pet gone wrong.....so I shaved it even shorter!
Now its almost all gone....I do still have some fuzzies that refuse to come out. I would much rather prefer it to all be gone, so I could rock a nice smooth bald head. But they say not to shave it all the way down because since my hair is not growing, this could cause pieces to still be stuck in my scalp which could cause problems, and be quite annoying. Here is what I look like now (not many people get to see my baldness, so consider yourself lucky!! :P):
For now I'm using my wigs and hats when I go out. Those who have seen my baldness have commented on what a nicely shaped head I have though ;) I must say, I'm still cute bald! ;) Hehe....well I'm not as horrified as I thought I would be. But can't wait to get my hair back!
It didn't go out without a fight, I can tell you that! My hair lasted alot longer than I expected.....I guess cause I have/ had so much of it!! Once I noticed it starting to drop, I refused to wash my hair, and tried not to touch it. I wanted to keep my funky hair-do for as long as possible.
But finally, it just became too much. There was so much hair on my pillow one morning when I woke up, that I decided I just had to shave it all off that day. My brother and boyfriend had a little too much fun with this, and here are the pics of them making me look ridiculous!
This is the final product:
I couldn't help but laugh at myself!
Then my fuzzy head started to look quite patchy (why doesn't the hair fall out evenly dammit!!). I looked like a Chia pet gone wrong.....so I shaved it even shorter!
Now its almost all gone....I do still have some fuzzies that refuse to come out. I would much rather prefer it to all be gone, so I could rock a nice smooth bald head. But they say not to shave it all the way down because since my hair is not growing, this could cause pieces to still be stuck in my scalp which could cause problems, and be quite annoying. Here is what I look like now (not many people get to see my baldness, so consider yourself lucky!! :P):
For now I'm using my wigs and hats when I go out. Those who have seen my baldness have commented on what a nicely shaped head I have though ;) I must say, I'm still cute bald! ;) Hehe....well I'm not as horrified as I thought I would be. But can't wait to get my hair back!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
2 Down.....4 more to go!
I had my 2nd chemo treatment on Wed (Dec 8), and just recovering from that. It's actually been better than the 1st one in terms of nausea and tiredeness.....but I still don't feel "great" and I've locked myself away in my apartment since then. Today was the first day I went outside since Thursday and what a mistake that was.......It's friggin COLD here today (-12 degrees with windchill of negative thirty-something)!! So I've decided I can live without fresh air! I just crack my door open a lil now and then to let the air flow through my apartment.
A couple people have been curious about what exactly is the process for receiving chemo.....how is it done?? Soooo, I'll give you a rundown.
1) I get to the hospital and go to the "chemo area" where I check-in (give them my card and they give me a buzzer).
2) 1 hour before the chemo I have a million and one (ok about 5) anti-nausea pills to take, so I take those.
3) Then I have lots of time to kill because they always make you wait pretty long, so mummy and I prepare a picnic! This time we took sandwiches to munch on, and grapes, and smoothies :) During this time, there are usually volunteers walking around giving out juice and cookies also, so I definitely take advantage of that!!
4) My volunteer friend, Helen, comes and sits with me to keep me company while I wait! Helen's been through chemo many times, so she's got lots of good advice to give! She's so amazing, and I see her practically every time I'm in the hospital, everywhere I go! (I think she must be cloned!)
5) They finally call me in when they have a spot for me. The area is just filled with chairs of people all hooked up to their various chemo drugs. I get a warmer to put on my arm which helps to open up the veins and make it easier to find to put in the IV. Unfortunately this time, they couldn't find my veins so easily (I think my veins knew what was coming, so they decided to hide!!). I got poked twice because of this, and they had to use a baby needle the second time which resulted in the chemo taking longer!
6) My chemo "cocktail" consists of 3 different drugs (sounds like a fun party don't it??......Happy Hour!!). I get 4 syringes, which are manually pushed into the IV by a nurse, and then they hook up a bag for the last drug, which takes 30 mins to go through the IV.
And that's it! They pull out the IV, send me home, and my one week of feeling yucky begins!
A couple people have been curious about what exactly is the process for receiving chemo.....how is it done?? Soooo, I'll give you a rundown.
1) I get to the hospital and go to the "chemo area" where I check-in (give them my card and they give me a buzzer).
2) 1 hour before the chemo I have a million and one (ok about 5) anti-nausea pills to take, so I take those.
3) Then I have lots of time to kill because they always make you wait pretty long, so mummy and I prepare a picnic! This time we took sandwiches to munch on, and grapes, and smoothies :) During this time, there are usually volunteers walking around giving out juice and cookies also, so I definitely take advantage of that!!
4) My volunteer friend, Helen, comes and sits with me to keep me company while I wait! Helen's been through chemo many times, so she's got lots of good advice to give! She's so amazing, and I see her practically every time I'm in the hospital, everywhere I go! (I think she must be cloned!)
5) They finally call me in when they have a spot for me. The area is just filled with chairs of people all hooked up to their various chemo drugs. I get a warmer to put on my arm which helps to open up the veins and make it easier to find to put in the IV. Unfortunately this time, they couldn't find my veins so easily (I think my veins knew what was coming, so they decided to hide!!). I got poked twice because of this, and they had to use a baby needle the second time which resulted in the chemo taking longer!
6) My chemo "cocktail" consists of 3 different drugs (sounds like a fun party don't it??......Happy Hour!!). I get 4 syringes, which are manually pushed into the IV by a nurse, and then they hook up a bag for the last drug, which takes 30 mins to go through the IV.
And that's it! They pull out the IV, send me home, and my one week of feeling yucky begins!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Time for some fun!!! - My new looks
I accepted the fact that my hair would fall out from the chemo........and decided to have some fun with it!! I've always wondered how I would look with short hair, but was always to chicken to try it out. Well now was the perfect chance!
In the beginning, there was long hair:
Decided to do a bob to start:
Then I went shorter:
And shorter.........with some funk:
My Wigs:
My Hats:
What do you think of my new looks??? ;)
[Thanks so much Rachelle and Reeva for the haircuts! And thanks to Olga for the lovely pics! You gals are the best!]
In the beginning, there was long hair:
Decided to do a bob to start:
Then I went shorter:
Now, photo shoot time!!!!!:
My Wigs:
My Hats:
[Thanks so much Rachelle and Reeva for the haircuts! And thanks to Olga for the lovely pics! You gals are the best!]
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Fertility Issues
One of the main issues I have to face is my future fertility. The oncologist let me know right away that one of the chemo drugs I would be given will definitely decrease my chances of having children as it is harmful to the ovaries. Alot of women's periods actually stop while they're on this chemo regiment, and for many of them, it never comes back, pushing them into early menopause.
For the younger women going through this "cancer experience", this is more of an issue than with older women, and for me, it is probably one of my biggest concerns. I don't have any children as yet, but I would definitely love to have one day.
I went to see a fertility doctor to discuss my options, which are as follows:
1) Freeze eggs - This would involve taking some hormone drugs to help stimulate the eggs for "harvest", and then taking out the eggs via a needle after a few weeks. The problem here is that it would've pushed my chemo treatments back because I won't be able to start chemo until the eggs are taken out. And I would risk having the hormone drugs stimulate the cancer cells as well. Also, even if they do freeze the eggs, there is not sure chance that the eggs can later be developed into an actual baby because this is somewhat new territory still, and not quite perfected.
2) Freeze embryos - This is alot more certain than freezing eggs, but would involve getting sperm to fertilize the egg and then freezing the embryo that is developed from that process. Uhhhh....problem......what sperm do I use??? I have only been with my boyfriend for 6 months now, so I think its a bit much to request some of his sperm at this point in the relationship!! (Maybe taking things a little too fast there!!) And the other option is to get sperm from a sperm donor.....sorry, I'm just not comfortable with that idea!! No thanks.
3) Do nothing - Since I am younger and have alot of eggs left, there is a good chance that my periods will resume after I'm done with treatment, and I would still have a chance of having babies. Soooo, this is what I have decided. Just have to pray that it will work out. And I believe what is meant to happen will happen....but fingers crossed still!! :)
For the younger women going through this "cancer experience", this is more of an issue than with older women, and for me, it is probably one of my biggest concerns. I don't have any children as yet, but I would definitely love to have one day.
I went to see a fertility doctor to discuss my options, which are as follows:
1) Freeze eggs - This would involve taking some hormone drugs to help stimulate the eggs for "harvest", and then taking out the eggs via a needle after a few weeks. The problem here is that it would've pushed my chemo treatments back because I won't be able to start chemo until the eggs are taken out. And I would risk having the hormone drugs stimulate the cancer cells as well. Also, even if they do freeze the eggs, there is not sure chance that the eggs can later be developed into an actual baby because this is somewhat new territory still, and not quite perfected.
2) Freeze embryos - This is alot more certain than freezing eggs, but would involve getting sperm to fertilize the egg and then freezing the embryo that is developed from that process. Uhhhh....problem......what sperm do I use??? I have only been with my boyfriend for 6 months now, so I think its a bit much to request some of his sperm at this point in the relationship!! (Maybe taking things a little too fast there!!) And the other option is to get sperm from a sperm donor.....sorry, I'm just not comfortable with that idea!! No thanks.
3) Do nothing - Since I am younger and have alot of eggs left, there is a good chance that my periods will resume after I'm done with treatment, and I would still have a chance of having babies. Soooo, this is what I have decided. Just have to pray that it will work out. And I believe what is meant to happen will happen....but fingers crossed still!! :)
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Feeling brand new!
I am so thrilled to be feeling myself once again! After the first week of practically drooling on myself all day, I was finally able to get out and about....that's why I haven't even had a chance to post anything all week! The timing couldn't be better, cause it was my boyfriend's birthday on Wed and I had to be there for his birthday dinner!!! I was just so happy to not fall asleep on myself during the dinner!
Since I've been feeling better, I've taken advantage of this, and definitely been keeping busy (in moderation of course)! Went out salsa dancing for the first time in forever, and my arm was fine :) However I declined to dance with anyone I didn't know in fear of them twisting my arm into a pretzel or tugging too hard! Since the surgery my arm has been slowly getting back to normal, but I'm still trying to be careful with it.
Another exciting thing I did was get some pet fishies!! My sweet boyfriend bought me a small tank so that it would give me something to do while I'm stuck inside. We thought about a puppy, but that would probably be a bit too much work for me (I'm very bad with animals). So I went and bought 7 neon tetras on Sunday to put in the tank. Unfortunately, the guy who helped us did not mention that he gave me suicidal fish! Within just a few hours, one fish went crazy and jumped straight out the tank! We put him back in, but by the next day he was a goner:( Two of the others have already gotten themselves stuck in one of the filter holes....luckily I was there to pull them out in time...they just seem a little bruised. These fish are giving me more excitement than I expected! Here's the new addition to my family:
I also did some other exciting things which I will be sharing with you in another post......so stay tuned!!! ;)
Its funny how I appreciate different things in my life these days. Like just being able to stay awake for the whole day. Or waking up and still having hair on my head....that's a good hair day for me! I'm expecting my hair to fall out any day now (they say 2 to 5 weeks after your first treatment....tomorrow will make 2 weeks). I enjoy sleeping as long as I want and not feeling guilty about it. I'm so happy that my mom is able to stay with me for all the time I'm on chemo.....before I would go crazy having her here for so long (love you mummy!! hehe), but now its a blessing! Everytime my boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful/sexy it means so much! It's hard to feel that way sometimes after having the surgery, or during my chemo comas....so to be complimented like that is just soooo great and helps me to keep feeling good about myself! :)
Well its time to put my fishies to bed......ta ta for now!
Since I've been feeling better, I've taken advantage of this, and definitely been keeping busy (in moderation of course)! Went out salsa dancing for the first time in forever, and my arm was fine :) However I declined to dance with anyone I didn't know in fear of them twisting my arm into a pretzel or tugging too hard! Since the surgery my arm has been slowly getting back to normal, but I'm still trying to be careful with it.
Another exciting thing I did was get some pet fishies!! My sweet boyfriend bought me a small tank so that it would give me something to do while I'm stuck inside. We thought about a puppy, but that would probably be a bit too much work for me (I'm very bad with animals). So I went and bought 7 neon tetras on Sunday to put in the tank. Unfortunately, the guy who helped us did not mention that he gave me suicidal fish! Within just a few hours, one fish went crazy and jumped straight out the tank! We put him back in, but by the next day he was a goner:( Two of the others have already gotten themselves stuck in one of the filter holes....luckily I was there to pull them out in time...they just seem a little bruised. These fish are giving me more excitement than I expected! Here's the new addition to my family:
I also did some other exciting things which I will be sharing with you in another post......so stay tuned!!! ;)
Its funny how I appreciate different things in my life these days. Like just being able to stay awake for the whole day. Or waking up and still having hair on my head....that's a good hair day for me! I'm expecting my hair to fall out any day now (they say 2 to 5 weeks after your first treatment....tomorrow will make 2 weeks). I enjoy sleeping as long as I want and not feeling guilty about it. I'm so happy that my mom is able to stay with me for all the time I'm on chemo.....before I would go crazy having her here for so long (love you mummy!! hehe), but now its a blessing! Everytime my boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful/sexy it means so much! It's hard to feel that way sometimes after having the surgery, or during my chemo comas....so to be complimented like that is just soooo great and helps me to keep feeling good about myself! :)
Well its time to put my fishies to bed......ta ta for now!
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