Tamoxifen....Urrrrgh!!

Sorry I've been so scarce these days! I guess it can be considered a good sign.....I've been feeling much better and keeping quite busy. Also its such nice weather, so been making the most of the outdoors while it lasts!

Got quite a few updates.....so I will start with one that has been pretty significant to me....TAMOXIFEN!

I know everyone sees me getting back to normal life, and it seems like its all over....I've beaten cancer...Yaay! But my treatment is not actually over. My oncologist has recommended that I take this drug, Tamoxifen, for the next 5 YEARS! 

My cancer was estrogen-receptor positive therefore estrogen would promote the growth of these cancer cells. Tamoxifen basically stops the production of estrogen in my body in order to reduce the chances of the cancer coming back again. Sounds great right......except the side effects of this drug include the following:

- usual menopausal symptoms (some serious hot flashes!!)

- blood clots

- strokes

- uterine cancer

- cataracts

The dosage recommended is 1 tablet each day. I started taking it for a month, and the hot flashes were pretty bad! I was waking up throughout the night in hot sweats, and I started to wonder if this drug would do me more harm than good. I started to worry about those other side effects also....like UTERINE CANCER!! Am I going to take this drug to prevent breast cancer, but then give myself another, more serious type of cancer??? So I decided to stop taking it and do some research first before I made a final decision on whether or not I should take this drug for a couple more years.

This decision has been on my mind now for 3 months, and I told myself that my decision will be made by the end of this month! I've gone back and forth, thinking of the pros and cons.

Of course I don't want the cancer to come back, but this is definitely not a sure solution....it just reduces my risk. There really isn't much research done for women in my age group who have taken Tamoxifen, so I have to rely on studies done mainly with post-menopausal women. However..... I'm not post menopausal! 

Its been a tough decision for me, but I've been told that no matter what decision I make, I'm the one who has to live with it....so I have to be comfortable with whatever I do.

For a while I have been leaning towards not taking it because I just feel so uncomfortable about playing with my hormones for so long. I have talked to a few people in the medical profession, and I have been assured that the risk of those serious side effects are very minimal....especially since I'm so young. 

Also my oncologist said he would be happy if I take it for at least 2 years.....after which he will possibly try to convince me to continue it for 5 years.....which I may or may not agree to. But he believes the benefits of Tamoxifen far outweigh the risks.

If I do take the Tamoxifen, I have made plans to go in for regular pelvic exams and eye exams to ensure that the Tamoxifen is not adversely affecting anything.

So with this plan, I have decided that I will start to take the Tamoxifen again. The thought of the cancer re-occurring is one of my biggest fears now, so I want to do whatever I can to reduce that risk!

I really hope I'm making the right decision!

Hip Hop for Hope Workshop

I have been planning another exciting fundraiser!! It's a Hip Hop dance workshop, and anyone can attend! It's happening this Sunday:)

I've already reached my goal of $3,200 for the Weekend to End Women's Cancers.....thank you so much to everyone who donated!! This workshop is to help some of my team members reach their goal as well! So if you've always wanted to try some Hip Hop dancing, here's your chance...and it's for a great cause!

You can see more information on our website: www.hiphopforhope.ca

The Rebirth of my Hair :)

My hair is finally growing back! And its so soft.....I can't stop rubbing my own head! :)

Each day, as it comes in thicker and thicker, I feel more like a normal person again. I've retired my wig now....never really enjoyed wearing that thing anyways. It was too hot and itchy! Especially now that its getting warmer, and my hot flashes are more frequent, the wig would just be unnecessary torture. I prefer going au naturale.

Yeah I'm still getting hot flashes, as I'm in "chemopause". My period hasn't come back yet. Not sure when it will or if it will.......although since I'm so young there is a good chance I will receive my monthly presents again! Never have I looked so forward to getting those!

Anywayz...back to my hair. I can't say it was all bad to lose my hair. I have kind of enjoyed not having to style my hair everytime I'm going out......I just wash and go! I take only 2 hours to get ready now instead of 3 :P

I have also been so delighted to not have to shave for the few months. But now its all growing back in full force....I think I'm even getting more hair than before in some unwanted areas....like what's up with my sideburns??? Geeeeez can't a girl get a break.....is it too much to ask that my underarm hair and leg hair and unnecessary facial hair (and 'other area' hair) just don't come back?!?! I guess beggars can't be choosers:P

I am super glad that my head of hair is filling in now though. Here are my new fuzzies:

Woohoooo!!

Esperanza Update and Pics

Forgot to give you guys an update on how the Esperanza event went (on May 1). Well it was a HUGE SUCCESS!! Better than I could've even hoped :)

Everyone said they had so much fun and we got so many positive comments about everything.....the venue, the live band, the food, the raffle prizes, the entertainment and just the overall great feeling throughout the night! It made me feel so good to hear all the wonderful comments....and it just made all our efforts definintely worth it (times 10!).  Best of all, we made enough money so that Wayne and his brothers are now able to participate in the Ride to Conquer Cancer. AND there is extra money available to also help some of my team members participating in the Weekend to End Women's Cancers. Both events are to raise money for Princess Margaret Hospital (where I was treated).

There were many requests (and some threats) for us to make Esperanza an annual event.....our response: "YES, OF COURSE"! Its amazing how many people want to help such a great cause, and how good it makes people feel to be part of something positive like this!

Here are some pics of the night:

The team that put the night together! (Feel.So.Good Team):

Some of the raffle prizes (The tickets were 2 for $5, 5 for $10 OR 20 for $20! So many people were buying 20....it was great!):

The performers:

Some of the members of the Live Band:

The DJ's:

We served fruit punch:

Me with some of the volunteers that helped us that night (we couldn't have pulled this off without them):

A shot from above, so you can get an idea of the venue:

The staff that helped us out, and some of the goodies we served:



Thanks again to everyone who made this night happen! :)